We All Need A Little Support
by parallelpandora
Summary: Bones is faced with a life-changing illness. Can she let down her guard enough to let the people around her support her? Can Booth deal with her illness and give her what she needs? Becomes B/B. Post Season 3. No character death, I promise!
1. Discovery

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bones or any of it's characters - I wish I did because B&B would be together already!!**

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Temperance Brennan was finally feeling back on top of her game.

After everything that had happened with her father, and then with Zach, for a long time she hadn't been able to focus. Her mind wasn't on the case when she was out in the field with Booth, and she just stared at the blank screen on her laptop whenever she felt the urge to write.

But now she felt she was back. She was visiting Zack in the psychiatric hospital they held him in uptown, and he was doing so much better. She spoke to her father and Russ every few days, and her dad even started coming around every Sunday night for dinner. Even her relationship with Booth was at it's best. They bickered all the time, just how she liked it. She enjoyed stirring him up, egging him on in philosophical debates that she knew he wouldn't be able to resist.

Then she felt it.

She didn't register it at first, her hand brushed up so lightly against it, the water rushing down her side. But then she felt again, and it was hard. Like a stone someone had somehow inserted into her armpit. She turned the water off and stepped out of the shower, and dried herself quickly. She hoped that it was in her imagination and that if she felt for it again, now that she was dry, she wouldn't be able to find it. She braced herself against the bathroom sink, and studied herself in the mirror. _Come on, Brennan,_ she thought, _you're a scientist, be brave._

But she didn't feel brave. She felt like someone had knifed her in the chest when her fingers found once again the very solid, the very real lump in her right armpit. She knew it was a lymph node. She specialized in bones, but she knew her way around the human anatomy enough to know that lymph nodes don't get that large without something being wrong.

_It's just from an infection, nothing to worry about,_ she told herself, looking in the mirror. _Yes, you could have had an infection, which led to scar tissue in the nodal area._ But the scientist in her knew it could be something more. She did a thorough exam of her breasts, her heart beating so rapidly she thought she might faint. There was nothing else. No other anomalies that she could see or feel. _That's good_, she thought, trying to reassure herself. _That's good._

But she knew what wasn't good. What wasn't good was the weight she'd been losing without even trying. She had thought it was depression, after everything that had happened. She hadn't exactly felt like stuffing her face lately. What wasn't good was the nightmares, the waking up in cold sweats. Again, she had explained this away with what had happened with Zack and Gormogon, and with her father almost going to prison.

The woman in her wanted to pretend she didn't feel the lump. But the scientist in her knew better. The logical side always won out with Brennan.

She went to work at the same time as usual, acted the same as she always did. No one noticed that anything was wrong. If Brennan was good at anything it was at compartmentalizing.

Booth dropped by and picked up her up after lunch - there was a new case. On the way to the crime scene, Brennan was unusually quiet – she usually took this opportunity to rile him up on one topic or another and then giggle to herself when she succeeded. Her partner, the more "people person" of the two, couldn't help but notice. She did know that if anybody would pick up that something was going on it would be him.

"Hey Bones," he said, in a jovial tone, trying to lighten the mood. He looked over at her when she didn't respond. She was just staring out the passenger side window, her forehead creased with worry.

"Earth to Bones. Hey Bones!" he said, taking his right hand off the steering wheel and waiving it in front of her face to snap her out of her head-space.

"Geez, what's up there Bones?" said Booth, smiling. "Can't think of any more topics to stir me up with?"

She just shook her head as though she hadn't really heard him, fiddling with a tissue she held.

Booth quickly spun the wheel and braked into a park on the side of the road, jolting Brennan forward so she had to put her hands on the dashboard to steady herself.

"God, Booth, are you trying to kill us?" gasped Brennan, glaring at him.

"No, Bones, I'm trying to talk to you. And yet here you are, off in fairy-fairy land, which since you don't believe in fairies is a very long way away," he said, pulling his sunglasses off to stare her down.

"I don't believe in fairies and I don't know what you mean. Sometimes I just don't want to talk okay? Today is one of those times. I have... I have things on my mind, things that are private that I don't want to talk about. I want to go to this crime scene, I want to look at the body and then I want to go back to the Jeffersonian." She folded her arms and looked back out the window.

"What's wrong, Bones?" said Booth softly, concerned.

"What's wrong is that you believe in fairies! What's with that? You not only believe in a non-existent God but now you believe in fairies too?" she said strongly, still not looking him in the eye.

"Okay, one, Bones, that was a phrase, and I'm pretty sure you know that. Two, you are bringing up the God thing because you know it'll get me fired up and you won't have to talk to me. You're _deflecting_," he said calmly and knowingly.

"Sweets tell you that?" she said, her voice softer but sarcastic.

"No, years of interrogating people told me that. I know what it looks like when someone is hiding something and it's hurting them," he said.

She looked at him, and stared at him for a few seconds. He didn't look away, he held her gaze, as if to assure her she could trust him. Her eyes glistened with tears that she couldn't bring herself to shed. She unfolded her arms.

"Okay, Booth."

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**Please R&R :) :) :)**


	2. Reassurance

"So it's probably nothing?" Booth asked nervously, scrutinizing her expression.

"Yeah, it's probably nothing," Brennan said, trying to convince herself as well as him.

"And you don't feel sick, like at all?" he asked.

"Nope. Not at all," she lied.

"Okay, well that's good then," he said, rubbing his chin. "Well, you know what I mean. Not good, but you know, not, um, bad. Yeah, it's probably nothing."

Brennan nodded.

"But you should, like go and get it checked out anyway right? That would be the normal thing to do?" he said, trying to sound nonchalant, but failing.

Brennan nodded again. There were a few more seconds of awkward silence.

"I can come with you, you know if you want. To the doctor. We could go today, after we go to the crime scene and all. Get you all check-"

"No, it's okay. Really Booth, I'll be fine," Brennan cut in. "I have an appointment with my doctor tomorrow morning, it's no big deal."

"Oh," he said, looking down, thinking. "I have a meeting with the State Department tomorrow morning… I could try and get out of it…"

"No," Brennan said forcefully. "Go to your meeting, I'm a big girl, I can go to the doctor by myself. It's probably nothing, remember?" She forced a big smile at him.

He nodded, and went to turn the ignition of the SUV. She pinched him on the arm.

He laughed. "Ow, what was that for?" he said.

"For making me talk," she laughed.

He smiled at her as he pulled the car out of the park and back into the flow of the traffic. He couldn't help but be worried about the last thing she said. Probably. Bones didn't often say probably. And deep down he knew that she wouldn't be this upset if she truly believed it was nothing.


	3. Panic

Brennan had lied. She didn't have a doctor's appointment the next morning, she couldn't wait that long. She knew what this could be and after telling Booth, she needed to find out straight away.

When Booth dropped her back at the lab on his way back from the crime scene, Brennan strode straight into Cam's office and closed the door. She folded her arms again and cleared her throat as she waited for Cam to acknowledge her.

Cam looked up from her laptop and raised an eyebrow. "Doctor Brennan. Can I help you with something?"

"Yes," said Brennan as she sat down in the chair in front of the desk. But she didn't say anything more, just stared at Cam.

"Am I supposed to guess?" said Cam, leaning back in her chair, confused.

"No."

"Then what is it I can help you with?"

Brennan looked uncomfortable; she didn't really prepare herself for how she should ask.

"I need you to run a biopsy," said Brennan.

"With that new corpse, you mean? Is there a growth that you need me to identify?" she said, leaning in to her desk. She didn't understand why Brennan was being so cagey.

"No," said Brennan, emotionless. "On an enlarged lymph node situated in my right Axilla."

"Okay…" Cam got up and circled around her desk, sitting lightly on the front of it. "Have you made an appointment with your doctor?" she said, looking concerned.

"No, I want to know what I'm dealing with now. It will take days to get the test results back if I go to the doctor. I can't do that. I need to know what I'm dealing with. Knowing I can handle, but not knowing…"

Cam put her hands up. "Okay, okay… but I need to examine you first."

She went to the office windows and shut the blinds before locking the door.

She walked over the Brennan and waited. Brennan stared at her, unsure of what she wanted. Neither of them felt very comfortable around one another, although lately, with Zack's departure, they had become slightly closer.

"Take off your shirt Doctor Brennan," said Cam softly, trying to lead her through it.

"Oh, yes, right." Brennan slowly undid the buttons of her shirt and placed it back down on the chair. Cam asked her to raise her arm slightly, which she did, and she felt Cam's cold fingers slide into her armpit. Cam looked away, frowning. The lymph node was indeed quite large and solid.

"When did you first notice it?" asked Cam.

"This morning, in the shower," said Brennan.

"Did you do a breast exam? Were there any other swellings or lumps that you could feel?"

"Yes and no there weren't."

"How have you been feeling lately? Any symptoms?" asked Cam.

"I've been tired. And... I've lost weight," admitted Brennan.

"Any night sweats?" asked Cam, as Brennan put her shirt back on.

Brennan just looked at her, and then looked away. That was a yes.

"Okay," said Cam, looking straight at Brennan. "You do need a biopsy, but first of all you should get X-rays of both your chest and abdomen. Doctor Brennan, I'm a Medical Examiner, not a practicing physician – I really think you should see your own doctor, get some tests run at the hospital-"

"No. I just want to know. We have an X-ray machine, and you could do a needle biopsy tonight," said Brennan, her eyes pleading with Cam's.

Cam started to shake her head.

"Please, Cam. Please," said Brennan.

Against her better judgement, Cam agreed.

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**Please remember to R&R, keeps the muses singing to me! :) :) :) :) :)**

_**N.B. In case you were wondering, Axilla is the scientific term for "armpit" - I just couldn't imagine Bones actually saying "armpit"... weird.**_


	4. Fear

**Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed! It's so awesome to get that kind of feedback. Because of all you nice people out there, I'm posting two chapters - that's right, two! Stay tuned, folks! :)  
**

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Cam and Brennan both stayed back that night so that they could use the X-ray room uninterrupted. This didn't raise any suspicion with Angela and Hodgins – they were used to seeing both women work late practically every night.

Brennan helped Cam recalibrate the X-ray machine for use on a live person, and Cam took X-rays from the front and side of both her abdomen and her back.

It was going to take a little while for Cam to develop the X-rays, so whilst she was doing that, Brennan headed back into her office to catch up on a little paperwork. She was expecting to see Cam come through her door once she was done, but when she didn't arrive after awhile, Brennan decided to walk down to her office.

She found Cam standing in her office, back to the door, staring at the X-rays on the light box attached to the wall. Her arms were folded. She heard Brennan behind her, and turned around. Brennan could tell from the tears welled in her eyes that the news wasn't good but she needed to see for herself. She walked up to the board and peered at the films.

"I'm sorry Temperance," said Cam, looking at her with concern.

"You'll need a CAT scan and probably a Gallium scan to confirm, but you can quite clearly see outlined areas of enlarged lymph nodes in your right axilla, chest cavity and upper abdomen. Most likely-"

"Lymphoma," said Brennan, not looking away from the X-rays. "Most likely lymphoma."

"Yes."

Brennan didn't seem to really react to the news. She turned to Cam. "Can you do the biopsy now? I want to examine the cells."

Cam nodded. She had already set up a little area in the autopsy room with a scrub tray and a sterile biopsy needle.

"You understand I don't have any local anaesthetic to help with the pain?" she asked.

Brennan nodded, and led the way to the autopsy room. She removed her shirt without prompting and lay down on the cold stainless steel of the autopsy table. She didn't even flinch when the steel touched her skin; just lay there ready, with her arm up over her head.

"This is going to hurt, but I really need you to keep as still as you can, okay? I'm not used to dealing with a body that actually moves," said Cam. Brennan merely nodded.

Cam took the needle and pushed it into the solid mass of lymph node tissue. It would have hurt like hell but Brennan didn't move an inch. _This girl's tough_, Cam thought.

Now, for the hardest part. She withdrew some cells. Brennan moaned, but still didn't move. Cam quickly withdrew the needle and placed a gauze pad over the site. Brennan took over applying pressure with her left hand and sat up, watching Cam as she took the needle over to a slide and pushed the cells onto the glass.

By the time Brennan had her shirt back on, Cam had the slide under the microscope and was adjusting its focus. The microscope was hooked up to a large LCD screen that was on the wall. Brennan looked at the LCD screen as the image began to get sharper.

Brennan could hear Cam's quick intake of breath, and she felt that knife in her chest again. The cells looked abnormal. They looked…

"The cells are malignant, Doctor Brennan," said Cam, getting her composure back. "I'm so sorry."

"What kind of lymphoma?" said Brennan, her voice still emotionless.

She pointed to the screen "These cells here look like Reed-Sternberg cells, so it's most likely Hodgkin's, but this really isn't my field. You need to see an Oncologist as soon as possible. I have a friend at Mercy General; he's one of the top Oncologists in the country. Doctor Marcus Rawlings. He's very good. I can get you an appointment with him…" said Cam, studying Brennan's face. She was still staring at the LCD screen, her expression blank.

"Yeah. Yes, that would be good. Thanks Cam," she said. Brennan turned to walk out but then turned back to face Cam. "Thank you for your help. I'm sure you can understand that I want this kept between us?"

"You have my word," said Cam. "I'll call Marcus first thing in the morning. Again, I'm so sorry."

Brennan clenched her jaw and nodded, and then strode out the door.

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**Again, please R&R, I likes it! :) :) :)**

**P.S. I'm so sorry for giving Bones cancer but remember, she isn't going to die. I promised.**


	5. Truth

Brennan walked into her apartment, exhausted, and dropped her keys and cell phone straight on the counter. She felt numb, confused. She wanted to take another shower, but she didn't want to touch _it_ again. She wanted it to disappear. She wanted to go back to yesterday. But she couldn't. Instead she lay on the couch, mindlessly flicking through TV channels until she started to doze off.

A brisk knock on her door woke her up. That was Booth's knock. She dragged herself off the sofa and over to the door. She opened it and there was Booth, standing there with a forced grin on his face and pails of Wong Fu's balanced in his arms.

"You hungry?" he said cheerfully, walking into the apartment.

"It's 10pm Booth, it's sleep time for normal people," said Brennan, forcing an annoyed smile onto her face.

"Oh, come on. It's never too late for Wong Fu's!" said Booth, diving into her cupboards for some napkins and plates.

"Why are you here?" she asked.

Booth straightened up and walked over to her, his hands tucked into his pockets. "I just thought, you know, you seemed worried today, and you have that doctor's appointment tomorrow, and I don't know, I guess I just wanted to take your mind off of it. Okay?"

Tears welled up in Brennan's eyes, as she folded her hands back over herself. She didn't let any fall but Booth noticed and he pulled her into a tight hug.

"Hey, come on," he said. "You said yourself it's probably nothing."

He pulled her to arm's length. "Nothing, okay? Trust me," he said, smiling. "I'm an FBI agent. FBI agents aren't allowed to lie."

She paused for a few seconds, and wiped away a lone tear that broke through the barrier.

"I do trust you Booth. But it's… it's not nothing."

"You don't know that Bones, you said yourself your doctor's appointment is tomorrow," he said, still trying to be reassuring.

"I lied," she said, lifting her head and looking him in the eyes.

"What do you mean?" he said, confused.

"I lied, I didn't make a doctor's appointment. I had Cam take the X-rays tonight and do a biopsy so I could see the cells for myself."

Booth looked away and took a few moments to absorb that information. He looked back at her. "But you're okay, right? I mean it's treatable, whatever it is, it's treatable, right?"

Brennan nodded. "It will most likely respond to treatment, but I can't be sure until I have more tests."

"What kind of tests?" said Booth, still trying to skirt around actually coming out and asking what it was.

"Blood tests, more scans and probably a bone marrow biopsy to check that it hasn't spread."

"It?" said Booth, hoping that it wasn't the answer that he knew deep down it was.

"Cancer. Lymphoma to be more precise – I don't know for sure what type or stage yet," said Brennan. "Cam has a friend who's an Oncologist over at Mercy General – she's going to arrange an appointment tomorrow."

Brennan looked at Booth, his face had dropped, and he looked at her with, well with a look of pity and pain and hurt. She didn't want to see that. Brennan forced a fake smile. "I'm fine, Booth. I'll be fine, this is treatable, it really is. You don't need to worry. I'll be fine. _I will be fine_."

Booth didn't say anything. He just pulled her into a tight, long hug. His eyes glistened and his jaw clenched. He kept opening his mouth to try and say something but he just couldn't think of what he could say, so he just kept holding her. And she let him.

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**Please, please, please R&R :) :) :) **


	6. Waiting

After a rather sleepless night for both of them, Booth – who slept on the couch - had insisted on going with Brennan to see Doctor Rawlings. Before she could argue he had already called the FBI Headquarters and had managed to get out of his meeting with the State Department.

"You don't have to do this, Booth," she said on their way there. "It'll be boring, just a whole lot of doctor talk. You hate science talk, you're going to hate doctor talk."

"Bones, don't argue with me, alright? I'm going with you. You haven't told Angela or Hodgins or your father, but told me. So… I'm going with you. End of discussion."

"I will tell them all, I just want to know what I'm dealing with first," said Brennan, defensively.

"I know, Bones. It wasn't an accusation," said Booth.

The only person at the Jeffersonian who knew where she really was was Cam. The rest of the team thought she was just out in the field with Booth.

He pulled into the parking lot of Mercy General and managed to nab a spot right at the front of the building.

"This is a parking spot for law enforcement. You can't park here," said Brennan matter-of-factly.

Booth looked at her, and then with both hands pointed at himself. "Law enforcement." He then pointed to the FBI sticker on the corner of the windscreen and smiled. "See?"

"Booth, you know that you shouldn't park here, it's not an emergency," she persisted.

He opened the door and hopped out of the SUV anyway. She shook her head and followed him. "You do know the rules."

"Yep, I do, Bones. I do," he said. "I just don't care today, okay?"

She nodded, and he placed a hand on her back as they walked inside.

It was a long elevator ride up to the Oncology Floor, and Booth was obviously very uncomfortable. This was hard enough for Brennan; she wished she had been stronger with him about not coming.

They walked into the waiting area, and Booth instinctively grabbed Brennan's hand. It wasn't something she was used to, because they didn't have that kind of relationship. But today she squeezed it. Looking around that room, she was scared. There were people of all ages and races but a lot of them had one thing in common. Most of them were bald. Some of them had wigs, hats, scarves even turbans, but you could tell. It was a scary looking place. It was a sick looking place.

They went up to the counter at the front of the waiting room and Brennan dropped Booth's hand.

"Temperance Brennan. I believe Doctor Rawlings is expecting me," she said to the homely nurse behind the counter. The nurse gave her what she was sure was a pitying smile, looked at her computer and told her to take a seat.

Booth and Brennan headed for two empty seats near the corner, away from a lot of the other patients.

"So he's the Head of Oncology, huh?" asked Booth. "That's good, right? He must be good."

Brennan nodded. "Cam said he's the best, so…" she trailed off.

Bones pulled a pad of paper and a pen out of her satchel bag and began writing.

"What ya writing there, Bones?" he asked, trying to sound curious and light-hearted.

"Chapter three of my new book," she said, trying to concentrate on not looking around the room.

"Oh," he said. "Am I in it?"

She smiled at him, secretively. "Maybe. Maybe not. You'll have to wait and see until it comes out."

"That's not fair," said Booth.

"Life's not fair," said Brennan. Booth didn't know what to say to that, considering where they were sitting at that moment.

Booth scanned the room, trying to look at the other people without looking like he was looking. There was an old couple in the far corner – he couldn't tell who had cancer, they both looked sickly but they both still had hair. They were clasping hands and whispering to each other. Next to them was a mother whose bald son was pulling at her dress. The mother's face was streaked with tears but the kid didn't seem to notice, he was busy playing with his toys and picking at the bandaid on his hand. He looked about five, maybe older. He had a tube running out of his nose, taped to the side of his face. Booth looked back down at his hands. He didn't want to imagine Parker ever getting sick like that, he wouldn't be able to bare it. He couldn't bare it with Bones now.

He looked down at the small coffee table to his left. It was covered with cancer literature. _Relaxing With Cancer, Accepting a Terminal Diagnosis, Beating Cancer, Coping with Cancer Treatment_, and many others he couldn't bring himself to pickup. _How do you relax with cancer?_ He thought to himself.

A nurse calling Brennan's name interrupted his thoughts. Booth looked at her and they both stood up. He grabbed her hand again, and squeezed it. She squeezed back.

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**Please R & R :) :) :) Suggestions are more than welcome too :)**


	7. Limbo

"So, Doctor Brennan. Cam's told me a lot about you," said Doctor Rawlings. Doctor Rawlings was a middle-aged man with white hair and very prominent frown lines. His office was very clean and white, and a little white examination area was curtained off at the back of the room.

"So she spoke to you about my results?" asked Brennan forcefully. She and Booth were seated in the two chairs opposite Rawlings' large desk.

"Yes, but I also meant she's spoken about you previously. She admires you and your work very much," he said, smiling at her.

Brennan half smiled out of courtesy, but she was more concerned about her results than anything else.

"Cam sent across the X-rays and the sample of the fine needle biopsy, but as I'm sure you are aware we need to do some further tests. I've had a look myself under the microscope, which I obviously don't normally do I might add, and have confirmed the presence of Reed-Sternberg cells. We will however, and I'm sorry about this, need to take another sample to confirm with our own lab. Protocol, I'm sure you know how it is."

Brennan nodded, swallowing hard. Booth was frowning at him, not sure if these Reed-Sternberg cells were a good thing or not.

"This pretty much confirms though that the type of lymphoma you have is Hodgkin's Lymphoma, also known as Hodgkin's Disease. This really is the most curable of all lymphomas and has the best survival rate. We need to stage your cancer to determine the best course of treatment. That will involve a blood test, CAT scan, Gallium scan and also a bone marrow biopsy," explained Rawlings.

Brennan nodded. She had expected that. Booth looked over at her and squeezed her hand.

"We can do the blood test, CAT scan and both biopsies today, in that order. But you'll need to wait a day or so before the Gallium scan. That will allow the CAT scan dye and pain medications for the biopsy to leave your system. The Gallium scan dye is radioactive in nature, but at a safe level, so we'd rather do that one when your system is clean. Do you have any questions?"

"What about the treatment?" said Booth.

Bones cut in before Rawlings could answer. "Doctor Rawlings, if it's alright, I'd like to do these tests and have the disease staged before we talk about treatment. I'd like to know all the facts first." She squeezed Booth's hand reassuringly.

"Of course, Doctor Brennan. I'm sorry to rush to you out but I have another patient and I really can't tell you anymore until we get the next lot of test results back. If you take this back to the nurse, she will arrange your tests and instruct you on where you need to go," said Rawlings, as he signed and handed Brennan a piece of paper which authorized the different tests she needed.

"I'll see you back here in a few days," he said, smiling, walking them to the door.

"Thank you for your time, Doctor," said Brennan. They left the room, and Booth tried pulling her into a tight hug, but she pushed him off.

"I have to speak to the nurse, Booth," she said, not looking him in the eye.

He sighed and nodded, then followed her.

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**Please R & R :) A little note though, please don't flame me because Brennan may start pushing Booth away a bit. I think that in shock she turned to him because she feels so close to him, but as reality sinks in it will be hard for her to accept him seeing her like that.**


	8. Frustration

**Hi all, really sorry I haven't posted in the last couple of days. I wrote a real medical-heavy chapter but then went back and rewrote it, because I'm trying to explore the characters more than the medical stuff. Thank you all so much for the reviews, please keep them coming as it really does help me stay motivated! Also as inspiration I had a bit of a Bones marathon today! Ah, the chemistry... :)**

**This is a short chapter, but I promise I'll follow it up quickly. Writing it now!**

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The nurse Brennan spoke to scheduled the CAT scan and biopsies for later that day. Booth told her he was going to stay with her and that she wouldn't be alone, but she told him she'd be fine and that he really needed to get back to the case. He knew once she set her mind to something there was no use arguing, but that didn't stop him from trying. He finally gave up once the volume of her voice had provoked stares and whispers from several patients and staff in the hospital hallway. He didn't want to upset her, so he finally agreed, and kissed her forehead before turning to go.

"Hey Booth," Brennan called after him. He turned back, and looked at her. "Thanks. Thank you for coming with me today. It really means a lot to me."

He nodded and smiled at her. "Anytime, Bones. Anytime." She smiled back.

He got on the elevator and they watched each other as the doors closed. The mirror finish on the back couldn't hide the glistening in Booth's eyes, and he felt his hands tense into fists. The elevator began to move and within a split second his fist collided with the cold metal of one of the doors. He yelled and swore in anger and pain and with instant regret. Luckily the elevator was empty, and by the time the doors opened to welcome more passengers, he had straightened his tie and calmed his expression.

Booth spent the afternoon interviewing witnesses and following up various leads on the current case. He couldn't help but worry about Brennan and what she was going through, and he missed having her by his side. By the end of the day though, he had a strong suspect and was hoping the forensic evidence would back up his gut feel.

He stopped by the lab after interviewing his last witness for the day.

Angela was the first to see him walk in alone.

"Hey, Booth!" Angela called out. "Where's Brennan? We need her to look at some bone fragments. Plus, I met this really hot new guy in the Research department that I want to set her up with." Angela smiled cheekily at him – she was hoping to make him all jealous and bashful. She frowned a little when he didn't react to the off-hand comment.

"Uh, she had to go and um, see the crime scene again. I'll tell her to call you when I see her," said Booth, not looking her in the eye. He didn't elaborate. "So what've you got?" he asked Hodgins, who had just walked over to them.

Hodgins started to explain what he had discovered about the particulates found at the scene, mentioning some big, boring words – "In plain English, _please_," cut in Booth, his tone gruff and impatient.

"_Fine_. Its just dirt, nothing unusual," said Hodgins, equally gruff and impatient.

"So... you got nothing," retorted Booth.

Hodgins just glared at him, and Booth glared back, his stance threatening. Angela looked from one to the other, her frown increasing in intensity.

"Booth, I think Cam is still examining the body in the Autopsy room. Why don't you go see if she has something?" suggested Angela, forcing a smile.

"Yeah, yeah. I will," said Booth. He turned and strode towards the Autopsy room.

"What's his problem?" Hodgins asked Angela.

"I don't know," said Angela. "But whatever it is, I think it has something to do with Brennan."


	9. Angst

**As promised :)**

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Cam was bent over the corpse with her gloved hands immersed in the stomach cavity when Booth strode into the room.

"Booth, uh, hi," she said, looking up. "Kind of busy here, sorry. Are you able to give me a few minutes? You can wait in my office."

Booth didn't say anything, just nodded and walked out again. Cam frowned; he wasn't his usual energetic self. She finished up with the corpse and dumped her gloves and protective smock in the hazardous waste bin on the way out.

She walked into her office to find Booth sitting on her couch with his head cradled in his hands. She closed the door.

"Hey Booth, you okay?" she said, sitting down next to him and placing a hand on his shoulder.

He looked at her and shook his head. He sighed and stood up, and then started pacing back and forth in front of her. Cam strongly sensed that Booth might know what was going on with Brennan, but she didn't want to ask in case it was something else. She had, after all, made a promise.

"So, uh, what's wrong?" asked Cam.

He looked at her and then looked away again, his face and shoulders tense. "You know what's wrong, Cam."

"I really need you to tell me, Booth," she said, standing up. "I have to know we're talking about the same thing here."

"Bones. Doctor Brennan," said Booth, looking down. "The um, the uh, cancer."

Cam sighed with relief and nodded. "She told you?"

"Yeah, she told me. I just, I just don't… I don't know, Cam," he said. "What do I do for her? What can I do? What if she dies? She doesn't want me to be there with her but I need to do something. _I need to do something._" Booth gritted his teeth, feeling the anger rising again.

"Okay. Sit," said Cam, pushing his shoulders down so he sat back on the couch. She sat back down next to him. He stared at the floor, his jaw muscles flexing.

"You need to be there _for_ her, Booth, not necessarily _with_ her, unless that's what she wants. Doctor Brennan is sick, yes. But she's very strong; the cancer she has is curable. She is going to be okay, Booth. You have to believe that," said Cam in an assuring tone. She grabbed one of his hands with hers and squeezed it.

"Plus, I'm a doctor, remember? I know what she's going to go through, but she'll get through it. She'll _live_ through it. She'll get through it with support from you, from Angela and Hodgins, from her Dad and her brother and even from me. She'll get through this."

Booth looked at her. He stared at her for a while before nodding. He gave her a small, grateful smile. "Yeah, yeah. You're right. She will."

He got up to leave, he wanted to go see Brennan at her apartment and see how the tests went. Cam got up from the couch too.

"Thanks, Cam," he said, slightly embarrassed. She pulled him into a hug and kissed him on the cheek.

"You're a good friend to her, Seeley," she whispered to him.

He left feeling better, less angry and slightly less worried. He realized halfway to the SUV he forgot to ask about the case, but rather than turning back he decided to call Cam in the morning.

As he started the car, something that Cam said was troubling him. It was the part where she called him a good friend. Was that all he was to Brennan? A good friend? Since she had gotten sick, he had to admit he had realized his feelings for his partner ran a lot deeper than friendship.


	10. Comfort

Booth knocked on Brennan's apartment door, hoping that she was home from the hospital already. She answered quickly, but didn't acknowledge him – just opened the door and walked back into her living room. He followed her, and she turned to face him.

"What did you tell Angela, Booth?" asked Brennan, her voice angry.

"What? Nothing," said Booth.

"Well you must have told her something," she said, her eyes wide and glistening. "She just called me and asked me what's going on, what's wrong."

"I swear, Bones. I didn't tell her anything, okay?" said Booth. "I stopped by the lab on the way here and checked on the case, that's all."

"So, you haven't talked about this with anyone?" asked Brennan, her voice softening.

"Well, just Cam," admitted Booth.

"What? Why did you speak to Cam?" said Brennan, the anger returning. "I don't want anyone talking about this, okay? Not until I'm ready. Promise me."

"Look, Bones. Cam already knew, you told me she did. I didn't think it would be a problem if I spoke to her about it," he said, grabbing her shoulders. "I'm sorry if that upset you."

Brennan nodded. "Just give me a little time, Booth. I just need a little time."

Booth pulled her into a hug. "I know, Bones. I know."

She let him hold her for a moment and then pulled away. She sat down on one of her armchairs, winced, and then leant over onto her left-hand side.

"You okay? How did the tests go?" asked Booth, sitting down gently in the armchair beside her.

"They went fine," said Brennan, not wanting to elaborate.

"Did they hurt?" asked Booth.

Brennan shrugged. "The bone marrow biopsy was painful. The aspiration needle had to penetrate my ilium, so…"

"Oh," said Booth, not really sure what to say, and not really sure what an ilium was. It sounded painful though. "I'm sorry."

"Why? You didn't do it," said Brennan, confused as to why he would say that.

"I know," said Booth, looking down at his hands. "I'm just really sorry you have to go through all this."

Brennan felt her eyes welling up again, but she didn't let any more tears fall. "Thanks, Booth."

He looked at her, and reached over and grabbed one of her hands.

"What happened to your hand?" she asked, grabbing it roughly. He winced. "It's all swollen."

"I um, I hit something," said Booth. "Someone, I hit a suspect."

She examined his knuckles and fingers and frowned. "This isn't the type of injury you get from hitting a person, it's the type of injury you get from hitting a solid wall."

He pulled his hand away, and looked embarrassed. Brennan realised what he had done, and looked away, clenching her jaw, the tears pricking at her eyes again. She didn't want to be the cause of this kind of pain.

"I'm sorry, Booth," she said, turning her head to look at him, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Hey, hey, Bones," said Booth, soothingly. He leant over and wiped away her tears. "I just got angry and did something stupid, it's not your fault."

"It is my fault, Booth," said Brennan. "You did it because of me."

He stood up, and grabbed both of her hands, and pulled her into another hug. She sobbed quietly into his suit jacket.

"None of this is your fault, Bones. None of it. You are going to get through this. I promise," he said. He tilted her tear-streaked face up and looked into her eyes. He leant in, his lips brushing hers. They were wet with tears. He kissed her softly and gently until she pushed him away.

"No, Booth. We can't do this now. I can't," she said turning away.

"I'm, um, I'm sorry," said Booth. He didn't regret kissing her, but he regretted his timing.

She wiped her face with her sleeve and turned around, changing the subject. "I'm heading into the lab tomorrow morning, I'll work on the case and call you with what we have." She avoided his gaze.

"Okay, then," said Booth. "That'd be good." He swallowed, uncomfortable and unsure of himself.

"I'll, um, just go then. I'll just go," said Booth, backing up to the front door, bumping into it.

Brennan nodded and folded her arms. She watched him leave, and then braced herself for the fresh set of tears to fall.

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**N.B. "Ilium" is the medical term for a specific part of the hipbone.**

**Please R & R :) :) :)**


	11. Share

Brennan went back to work at the Jeffersonian the next day. She tried to put everything that was happening out of her mind, and chose to focus her time on identifying unidentified skeletons from "limbo". Booth had left a message for her that he was interviewing some more witnesses and was going to charge his primary suspect that afternoon. She didn't return his call.

Angela kept interrupting her, trying to prod her for information, but after the fourth "sweetie, are you ok?" Brennan had had enough and snapped at her to leave her alone and let her do her work. Angela left the room in tears and Cam couldn't help but notice as she walked past.

Cam doubled back and walked into the room. "Doctor Brennan?"

Brennan looked up at her, and then back down at her skeleton. She was in the middle of laying it out, piece by piece, bone by bone, onto the light table.

"I'm not going to ask you if you're okay, because I can see that you're not," said Cam softly, walking up to the table.

Brennan straightened up. "I'm fine," she said, her expression blank. She reached into the box and started pulling out more bones.

"You're anything but fine, and Angela is your best friend," said Cam. "She can see that something's wrong. Talk to her." Cam looked at her for a few seconds and then walked out of the room. Brennan folded her arms again and looked at the door, thinking about what Cam had said. She clenched her jaw and paced around the table.

She found Angela sitting at her desk, sketching. Angela didn't look up at her; she kept her head down and kept drawing. Brennan shut the door of the office and sat down in the chair opposite the desk.

"Hey, Ange," said Brennan softly. "Can I talk to you?"

"Are you sure you want to?" said Angela a little frostily, still not looking up.

"No, actually, I'm not," said Brennan, looking down at her hands.

Angela sighed and put her pencil down, leaning forward onto her desk. "Then why are you here, Bren?"

"I didn't want to have to tell you…" Brennan trailed off and closed her eyes, trying to regain her composure. "I have to tell you something."

Brennan was struggling, and Angela immediately forgot that she was angry with her. She got up and went around the other side of the desk, kneeling down beside the chair and grabbing Brennan's hands in hers.

"Sweetie, what's up? You know you can tell me anything, right? Anything," said Angela softly, worried for her friend.

"I know," said Brennan.

"Then what is it?" asked Angela. "What's wrong?"

"I have cancer, Ange," said Brennan softly, looking Angela straight in the eyes.

Angela laughed nervously, and stood up, dropping Brennan's hands. "Is that some kind of joke, Bren? Because I think I've told you before you're not that great at making jokes. You should leave that to Booth."

Brennan didn't say anything; she just stood up and shook her head silently. "I have Hodgkin's Lymphoma."

Angela took a step back and folded her arms. She rocked on her heels and tried not to burst into tears. Brennan tilted her head to the side, watching her.

"But, um, you're… you're going to be okay, right? Right?" said Angela, trying not to let the sobs break through her wavering voice.

"Yeah, Ange. I'm going to be okay," said Brennan stepping towards her. Angela couldn't hold it in any further, she burst into tears and rushed forward and pulled Brennan into a tight hug, sobbing into her shoulder.

Brennan stayed with Angela, until she had calmed down and started to ask a lot of questions. Questions Brennan didn't have answers to yet.

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**I promise some more Booth & Bones in the next chapter! Please R & R :)**


	12. Love

**Author's Note: So, so sorry I haven't updated sooner! I was trying to figure out where the story was going next, and I needed to get a little one-shot out of my head first! **

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Angela had insisted on going with Brennan to her scan the next day, and then the follow up appointment with Doctor Rawlings. Brennan tried to say she was fine and didn't need anyone to be there with her, but Angela, like Booth before her, wouldn't take no for an answer.

Booth had left a few messages on her phone, but she still hadn't returned his calls. It had shocked her when he had kissed her, she couldn't understand why he did that. She kept thinking about it over and over, and in some ways it took her mind off being sick for a while. Did he kiss her because he was trying to comfort her, because he felt sorry for her, or was it because he felt something more… that was the kind of thing that made her dislike psychology. It was so… uncertain.

She kept working on unidentified skeletons in the lab, but couldn't focus well enough and decided to go home earlier than usual. She arrived at her apartment to find Booth leaning against her door, looking down at his open cell. He didn't see her standing there straight away, but when he did he quickly closed his phone and slipped it into his pocket, swallowing hard. He turned to look at her.

"Hi," he said, slightly uncomfortable and unsure of himself.

"Hi," said Brennan, looking down at her keys and heading around him to the door. She unlocked it, turned on the lights and walked inside, dropping her keys on the kitchen counter. He followed her in and closed the apartment door.

Still not looking him in the eye, she went over to the fridge. "Do you want a glass of wine? I have an open bottle that needs consuming."

"Yeah, sure," he said, watching as she got the glasses and bottle out. "I tried calling you, left a few messages."

"I know."

"Do you not want to speak to me now?" he asked softly.

"Would I be offering you a glass of wine if I weren't speaking to you?" she said, still not looking at him. She left his filled wine glass on the counter and slipped past him, already sipping hers.

"Okay… thanks, I guess," he said, picking up his wine and taking a sip. He screwed up his face in distaste and put his glass back on the counter. "Ugh, Bones! What is that? It takes like toilet water!"

"What? I like it. It's… sweet," she shrugged, finally looking at him, a small smile appearing at the corners of her mouth. He laughed softly.

"Well, if it's okay with you, I'm going to grab a beer," he said, heading for her fridge.

"Your loss," she said, walking over and sitting on the couch. She crossed her legs and sipped her wine quietly. He grabbed his beer and sat down beside her, throwing the bottle cap on the coffee table. He took a sip and then leant forward, placing his elbows on his knees and turning the bottle in his hands.

"So… how are you doing?" he asked, looking sideways at her. She stared into her glass of wine before taking another sip.

"Fine," she said, her voice emotionless. She still wouldn't look him in the eye. He didn't want to press her, so they sat in an awkward silence for a few minutes. Booth had downed most of his beer before he decided to apologize to her.

"I'm sorry," he said, staring at the dregs in the bottom of the bottle.

"Sorry for what?" she asked.

"I'm sorry for last night," he said, turning to her. He put the bottle down on the coffee table. Brennan looked confused. He thought she didn't know what he was talking about.

"I'm sorry for kissing you, I shouldn't have done that. The timing was bad," he said softly, looking down.

"Booth."

He looked back at her, and could see the tears welling up in her eyes.

"You don't have to be sorry for that. I just didn't… I don't know what it means… what it meant," she said, placing her wine glass on the table. "You made me feel safe."

He nodded. "So you don't hate me?"

"I could never hate you, Booth. I could never hate you," she said, fresh tears spilling onto her cheeks. He leant over and pulled her into another hug. She squeezed him hard, tears rolling onto his jacket.

"I'm in love with you, Temperance," he whispered, stroking her hair. "I don't want to lose you."

"I'm in love with you too," she whispered back. They pulled out of the hug and just looked at each other. Her hair was stuck to her wet cheek and he softly pushed it back behind her ear.

He smiled warmly at her. This time _she _leant in, staring at his big, brown reassuring eyes, before kissing him softly. She grabbed the lapels of his jacket, just as she had when they had kissed under the mistletoe, and pressed harder. He wrapped his arms around her. It felt like time had stopped, like nothing else existed in the universe except for that kiss, that moment. They eventually had to part for air, and they leant against each other, forehead to forehead, staring into each others eyes.

"I love you," said Booth softly.

"I love you," said Brennan. She pulled back a little and looked down. "Booth?"

"Yeah?" he said, smiling again.

"I want you," she said softly, looking up into his eyes.

"You want me?" he asked, a little confused.

"I want you… I want you to make love to me," she said, loosening his tie with one hand.

He frowned a little. "Are you sure, Bones? I don't want to take advantage of you…"

"I'm sure, Booth," she said, leaning in to kiss him again.

With one swift move he stood and lifted her up into his arms, while she nuzzled into his neck, kissing it. He gently carried her into the bedroom, and laid her down on the bed softly. She watched him, her eyes bright. He lay down on top of her, gently caressing her face. Their lips locked again, and he gently and lovingly searched her mouth with his tongue. She reciprocated, pushing up against him.

They undressed while still kissing and caressing each other, until they were both naked under the sheets. Booth made love to her; love like she had never experienced before. He was attentive and gentle and respectful. He made her feel so loved, so safe… he held her in his arms as he drifted into a deep, restful sleep.

He never saw her shoulders heaving, or heard her sob silently into her pillow.

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**Author's Note: Please, please, please read & review. It really does help motivate me to update sooner! :)**


	13. Breakfast

**Author's Note: Wow, I surprised myself with this chapter - longer than my usual... I'll try to keep up the pace! Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed, please keep it up even if it is just a word or two, it really does help keep me motivated (and feeling guilty if I don't post again very quickly...)**

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Brennan woke to the strong smell of bacon and eggs. She wrinkled her nose in confusion before remembering what had happened the night before. She spread her legs out onto the sheets and could still feel the warmth left by Booth's body on that side of the bed. A smile curled on her lips until that horrible feeling returned to her chest when she realized she had appointments at the hospital that day.

She got up, stretched and yawned, and pulled on her black satin robe as she stepped over Booth's pants, shirt, shoes, socks and tie strewn across her bedroom floor. She went out into the kitchen to find Booth cooking over the stove wearing just his boxer shorts and white singlet. She leant against the doorway; she folded her arms and watched him for a while. He was whistling softly to himself, but stopped and turned around when he felt the stare on the back on his head.

"Hey, morning Bones," he said, smiling at her. "I made you breakfast, hope you're hungry!" He began piling bacon and eggs onto two plates on the counter.

She smiled softly, still feeling slightly uncomfortable with the entire situation. She didn't quite know what last night meant. She knew she wanted it, and Booth wanted it… but did that mean they were now in a romantic relationship? Before she could "overthink" it anymore, Booth walked over to her and pulled her into his arms, kissing her softly. She concluded that it seemed they _were_ now in a romantic relationship.

He grabbed her hand and led her to the table, pulling out a chair for her. "Come, sit, eat," he said, placing a plate in front of her. It was piled with bacon and eggs and three large pieces of wholegrain toast. Booth sat across from her with his plate and smiled at her, pointing at her plate with his knife.

She appreciated the thought, but the last thing she felt like doing was eating a huge fried breakfast before she had to go to the hospital.

"Booth."

"Eat, Bones, eat! You need your strength," he said, his mouth already stuffed full with bacon.

"Angela's going to be picking me up later to go to the hospital, and I'm really not hungry. Thank you for the thought, though. It means a lot to me," she said. She reached over the table for his hand.

Booth swallowed his mouthful and put down his knife and fork. He grabbed her hand and frowned slightly, concerned. "I thought I was taking you to the hospital… I went with you before…" he trailed off.

"You did, and I appreciated that so much, but you really should go to work and Angela really wants to go with me, so…" She hoped that Booth wouldn't argue with her over it.

He nodded; he knew how hard Brennan found it to accept support. He was glad that she had told Angela, glad that she had someone else to comfort her when he couldn't be there. He let go of her hand and went around to the other side of the table, kneeling down next to her chair. She eyed him sideways, scared that he was going to propose or something.

Booth grabbed both of her hands, and looked up at her. "I _am _here, Bones."

Brennan looked at him, perplexed. "Yes, Booth, you _are_ here. _In my apartment_." She raised one eyebrow at him.

Booth dropped one of her hands and rubbed the crook of his nose. "Yes, in your apartment." He should have known she would take that literally.

"What I mean," he said, grabbing her hand again, "is that I am here _for you_. When you need me, when you want me, but also when you don't. I will always be here for you, and I need you to accept that."

She swallowed, thinking, and stared at their interlocked hands. "I can accept that, Booth," she said slowly, looking into his eyes. "But you might need to be patient with me."

"And that would be different from normal how?" he said, laughing a little at her. She smiled and nodded. He stood up and grabbed her face in his hands, placing his forehead on hers. He looked at her bright eyes lovingly, smiling at her.

"I love you."

"I love you."

He went to lean in for another kiss but she quickly put a finger up to his lips.

"If I kiss you it'll taste like bacon, and I don't want you to taste like bacon," she said.

He smiled and pulled away. "Aw, Bones! Well… can I use your toothbrush?"

She wrinkled her nose a little. "I guess… but make sure you don't leave a bacon smell on it."

He laughed and headed off to the bathroom. Brennan began munching on a piece of buttered toast, the one that wasn't touching any of the greasy food on her plate. There was a soft knock on her apartment door. She swallowed the last bite and got up to answer it, pulling the robe tighter across her body.

Angela was standing on the other side, and pulled Brennan into a bone-crushing hug as soon as she got through the door. She pulled away and held Brennan at arm's length.

"How are you doing, sweetie?" she said, looking her up and down. "I would ask you if you were ready to go, but you're um… obviously not."

"Hey, Bones!" Booth yelled out as he came out of the bathroom. "I don't taste like bacon any-" He stopped suddenly when he saw Angela, his eyes wide.

Angela's jaw dropped at the sight of Special Agent Seeley Booth standing half naked in Brennan's apartment, wearing just his smiley-face boxers and six-pack hugging white singlet. She looked at Brennan and then at Booth and then back at Brennan, her mouth still open.

"Oh… my… god…" said Angela, a grin appearing on her face. She leant over to whisper to Brennan. "Did you two-?"

Brennan didn't say anything; she just bit her bottom lip in embarrassment, looking at Booth. Angela took that as a clear admission of guilt.

"Finally! Finally!" she squealed in delight, pulling Brennan into another hug.

"Ange, you're not surprised?" asked Brennan, completely confused by Angela's reaction. Angela looked at her with a expression of exasperation.

"Bren," said Angela, facing her. "Blind Freddy could see you two should be together."

"Who's Blind Freddy?" said Brennan, frowning, looking between Angela and Booth.

Angela sighed, but smiled. "What I mean is, you two have always had that… um… romantic chemistry thing going on. We could all see it."

"No we haven't," said Brennan. "We only got… romantic… last night. And what do you mean everyone could see it?"

Booth was looking awfully uncomfortable and slowly stepped sideways until his bottom half was hidden from Angela's view by the table. He shifted onto his original seat and drank some orange juice to get the minty taste out of his mouth.

"Me, Hodgins, Cam, you know, the whole Jeffersonian Institute. There's been a betting pool for the last couple of years; the kitty's sitting at over one thousand dollars now. I lost out ages ago, I didn't think you would take so long to… you know…" Angela trailed off when she saw the indignant look on Brennan's face.

"Why didn't you tell me any of that before?" asked Brennan, folding her arms. "You could have saved me a bit of time. Not to mention I could have made some money…"

Booth practically choked on his orange juice – he wasn't used to Brennan making jokes.

"Bren, this was something you had to work out for yourself," Angela said, placing a hand over her own heart. "Besides, we all made a pact if you weren't together after being partners for five years, we would lock you in a hotel room and not let you out until you did the woo-hoo." She raised the pitch of her voice for that last part and made a gesture with her hand.

"Hmph…"

"Sweetie, I'm sorry to rush you from this georgeous hunk of burning love in your apartment' -Booth almost choked on his toast this time- 'but we need to get to the hospital," said Angela, whilst grinning at Booth, who feverishly stuffed his mouth with eggs.

"Yes, you're right. I'll be back in a moment," said Brennan, still a little confused. She headed to her bedroom to get dressed.

"So," said Angela, grinning as she sat down in the chair opposite Booth. "How was it?"

Booth threw her an embarrassed, "none-of-your-business" kind of look as he chewed his food. Angela just kept staring at him with a smile on her face as she waited for Brennan. Booth raised his eyebrows and washed down his food with another mouthful of orange juice.

"What?" he said, shrugging.

Angela's face suddenly became more serious and she looked over her shoulder at Brennan's bedroom door, which was still closed.

"Booth," said Angela. "Don't hurt her."

"I wouldn't ever hurt Bones," said Booth. "You should know that." He was a little indignant himself.

"I do know that you would never hurt her intentionally," said Angela. "But this is going to get hard for her, really hard, and she'll do everything she can to push everyone away. I know her, she will. You can't leave her, no matter what, even if she asks you to."

Booth nodded, and smiled at her sadly, completely understanding where she was coming from. "I could never leave her. She would have to shoot me first."

"Then be prepared to wear a bullet-proof vest for the time being," said Angela. Booth just looked at her, contemplating what she had just said.

They were both lost in that thought when Brennan's bedroom door opened, and she stepped out, wearing jeans and a green top and jacket. Both Angela and Booth looked up at her.

"What?" said Brennan. She walked over to the counter, and picked up her keys and purse.

"Ready to go?" said Angela, getting up, throwing her a smile.

"Ready as I'll ever be," said Brennan sombrely.

Booth stood up, still embarrassed that he was in his boxer shorts in front of Angela. But he decided it was more important to say a proper goodbye to Brennan. He walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her softly.

"Blech," she said, screwing up her face. "You ate more bacon."

"Yes, Bones, I did," he said smiling, but didn't apologize for it. He rested his forehead against hers again. "I love you. I'll be here tonight, waiting for you." It wasn't a question.

"I love you too." She kissed him again softly.

Angela stood by the door watching them, grinning like a schoolgirl at the display of affection.

"Bye," said Brennan, breaking away, smiling at him sadly as she left.

"Bye," said Booth, smiling confidently at her. When the door shut behind them, his face dropped and he leaned against the counter, breathing in deeply. Once he felt his emotions were back under control, he headed to Brennan's bedroom to get dressed for work.

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**Please review :)**


	14. Brooding

Booth had closed the case he had been working on earlier in the week, so he tried to finish off the piles of paperwork sitting on his desk. Even the "easy" cases swamped him with evidence to review and reports to write. It was the less glamorous side of his job. It was hard for him to concentrate when he knew his partner was in the hospital, possibly getting even worse news than they expected. Within an hour the words had started to melt together and he couldn't keep track of what he was reading.

He rubbed his temples and leant forward onto his desk, grimacing as the ache in his head got a little worse.

"Ahem."

Doctor Lance Sweets was standing in the doorway to his office, with a disappointed expression on his face. "Miss something?"

"What do you want, Sweets?" asked Booth, leaning back into his chair. "I'm pretty busy here."

Sweets looked around at the disorganized stacks of files strewn across his desk, and the few that had managed to make their way onto the floor. "I can see that."

Booth threw him a "get to the point or leave me alone" kind of look. He wasn't in the mood for a chat.

"You and Doctor Brennan missed your session this morning," said Sweets. "Any reason for that?"

"Oh, yeah, um…" said Booth, leaning forward and rubbing his unshaven chin, not sure of how much he should say. "We'll need to reschedule that."

Sweets sat in the chair opposite him. Booth sighed and closed his eyes in frustration; he had just missed the opportunity to get him out of there without a drawn-out conversation. He didn't say anything, just clenched and unclenched his jaw a few times. It didn't go unnoticed by Sweets.

After a few moments, Sweets broke the uncomfortable silence. "I'm still waiting, Agent Booth."

"For what?" said Booth, raising his eyebrows.

"For an explanation," said Sweets. "These sessions are important, and I have other agents to see."

"If you have other agents to see, then why are you still here?" asked Booth, becoming more hostile by the second.

"I'm sensing hostility from you, Agent Booth," said Sweets. "Did you and Doctor Brennan have a fight?"

"No, we did not have a fight, we're fine," growled Booth.

"Then why did you miss our session?" said Sweets.

"_Because_," said Booth, gritting his teeth. "We have other... stuff going on."

"What kind of 'other stuff'? I haven't been able to reach Doctor Brennan on her cell, do you know where she is?" asked Sweets. "She's usually reliable when it comes to appointments."

Booth clenched his jaw again. "She had _another_ appointment to go to, and that's her business, _alright_?"

Sweets sighed. He usually found it difficult to get anything out of Booth without the presence of Doctor Brennan, and he was genuinely concerned about her, missing an appointment was indeed uncharacteristic.

Sweets stood up and closed the door, and then sat back down. Booth was now glaring at him. He didn't want to talk but Sweets felt there was something that was getting to him.

"What's going on?" asked Sweets. "There's obviously something that's bothering you, and it has something to do with Doctor Brennan. Whatever you tell me is confidential."

"Oh, yeah, Sweets, that's right, whatever I tell you is confidential," said Booth, putting a sarcastic emphasis on the word 'confidential'. "Except if you need to use it to break up our partnership."

"I have no intention of breaking up your partnership, Agent Booth. You and Doctor Brennan work extremely well together… well, most of the time… but anyway, unless your relationship has changed, crossed a line so to speak, there would be no danger of breaking up your partnership," replied Sweets.

Booth swallowed hard. They had, quite certainly, crossed that line, but right at that moment that wasn't his major concern. Right then all he was concerned about was her health, her life.

"You haven't crossed that line, have you?" asked Sweets, frowning.

"No," lied Booth. "We just… she has this thing she had to go to. At the hospital…"

That last part came out unintentionally. He regretted it as soon as he said it.

Sweets sat up straighter in his chair. "What? Is she okay? Is she ill?"

Booth shrugged, and leaned onto his desk, his running his hands through his hair. He couldn't really go back now.

"She, um," muttered Booth. "She has Hodgkin's Lymphoma."

"What? Are you serious?" asked Sweets. He knew that meant cancer.

"No, Sweets, I'm joking," said Booth sarcastically. "Of course I'm serious."

"Oh my god," said Sweets, looking shocked. "How's she taking it?"

"Okay, I guess," said Booth. "I don't know, you know what Bones is like. But you can see that your session, not really important in the scheme of things right now?"

"Yeah," said Sweets. "I'm really sorry man. Is she going to be okay?"

"I don't know, she's seeing her Oncologist today, at the hospital. Angela went with her this time," said Booth.

"This time?" Sweets was confused at the inflection he had placed on that part.

"I went with her to her first appointment," said Booth.

"You? You went with her to see an Oncologist for the first time?" asked Sweets.

"Yeah," said Booth. "And I don't like your tone."

Sweets raised his eyebrows, and Booth began glaring at him again. "That's a really personal, I _mean_, really personal situation for you to be a part of in Doctor Brennan's life. You must be closer to each other than I thought."

"We're tight," said Booth, his tone short. He leaned forward, trying to intimidate the young psychologist. "What are you insinuating, Sweets?"

Sweets put his hands up in surrender. "Nothing, just an observation."

"You can't tell her I told you, she wouldn't like it," said Booth. "She hasn't even told her family yet."

"Well, it's quite normal for a cancer patient to be anxious about telling the people in their lives. It's a hard thing to do, to know you're hurting your loved ones," said Sweets.

Booth found it hard to hear his Bones described as a cancer patient, but unfortunately he had to admit that that was the way it was. "Um, yeah," said Booth, not really knowing what to say.

"It must be killing you to be here and not with Doctor Brennan today, considering the depth of your feelings for her," said Sweets, knowing he was likely to get a strong reaction. He wasn't disappointed.

"I want to be with her," said Booth, clenching his jaw and pointing his pen at Sweets. "_To support her_."

"Well, I'm sure she has support, Agent Booth," said Sweets, swallowing hard. As much as he tried not to be intimidated by the older agent, his size and demeanour often made that difficult. "From her friends at the lab, from her father, her brother."

"But most of them _don't know_ yet," said Booth, still hostile. "It's just me and Angela at the moment."

Sweets clenched his jaw this time, trying to think of the right way to phrase what he needed to say next. "You know we have to pull her field clearance, right? And I mean now. If Doctor Brennan is sick, then she can't be in the field. Like, at all."

Booth tapped his pen on his desk and shrugged his shoulders, looking at Sweets from beneath his creased forehead. "Not an issue yet."

"I'm sorry, Agent Booth. You know I can't knowingly let her out in the field if I'm aware of this kind of medical situation, and neither can you," said Sweets, standing up. "I have to pull her field clearance. I'm sorry."

"Just give her a little more time, okay Sweets? She hasn't started treatment yet. I'll make sure she doesn't go out in the field. I just need to be the one to tell her, when the time is right," said Booth leaning forward.

Sweets weighed up his options. His butt would be on the line if Doctor Brennan did go out in the field and got hurt because he hadn't pulled her clearance. On the other hand, Booth was likely to hurt him badly if he did pull her clearance before he got a chance to talk to her. He hated to admit it to himself, but he was more afraid of Special Agent Seeley Booth than his bosses at the FBI combined.

"Okay, Agent Booth," said Sweets, walking to the door. "I'll let you worry about that for now. I trust your judgement. You know where I am if you want to talk."

"Yeah, thanks," said Booth quietly, nodding at him. He pulled another file from the top of the stack. Sweets gave him a pitying glance before heading for the elevator.

* * *

**There'll be more B/B next chapter, I wrote this one to set stuff up for later... Plus I think we need to see how Booth handles all this when he's not with Brennan.  
**

**As always, please review, it makes me happy :) :) :)**


	15. Trust

**Author's Note: It's getting easier with every chapter to write longer scenes, so here's the longest yet, you'll be pleased to know it's all B/B :)**

* * *

After his talk with Sweets, Booth gave up on his paperwork and left work early. He went home to grab some clothes and things and headed back to Brennan's apartment. He had been there awhile when his cell phone rang and he saw on his caller ID that it was Angela.

"Angela?" said Booth, answering the phone swiftly. "Is Bones okay?"

_"Yeah, she's okay, Booth. She's at the diner, I wanted to stay with her but she said she wanted to be alone for awhile."_

"Yeah, that sounds like Bones," said Booth. "What did the doctor say?"

_"I really think she should be the one to talk to you about that. I just… I don't think she should be alone right now."_

"Yeah… Yeah, I'll be right there," said Booth. "Thanks Angela."

_"No problem. Just take care of her."_

It didn't take Booth long to get to the diner. He saw her staring out the window, and swiftly went inside. She was facing away from him, in her usual seat, and he came up behind her, touching her shoulder with his hand as he went to his usual seat across from her. She watched him sit down and then stared out the window again, barely acknowledging him.

"Bones."

"Angela called you, didn't she?" said Brennan, turning to look at him.

"Yeah," said Booth, nodding his head.

She nodded, and looked out of the window again. She couldn't be mad at Angela, she knew she was just trying to be a good friend. But she really didn't feel like talking, and around Booth, that was hard.

Booth reached out and grabbed Brennan's left hand with his right. He interlocked their fingers and smiled at her reassuringly. He rubbed her index finger with his thumb.

"Bones…" said Booth, not really sure how to broach the subject.

"You want to know how my appointment went," stated Brennan, looking at him.

"Yeah," said Booth, trying not to push her.

"I have stage three b non-bulky Hodgkin's lymphoma," said Brennan, looking at Booth steadily. "Due to the stage and spread of the disease I have approximately an 85 to 90 per cent chance of survival over five years if I pursue the recommended treatment. However I am not completely convinced of the accuracy of that statistic, due to the considerable variables involved." Her tone was very matter-of-fact, like she was reviewing the evidence of a case. Booth could still hear the fear in her voice, and he squeezed her hand softly.

She continued. "I am to start combined modality therapy in the next couple of weeks." She saw Booth frown a little but he kept silent; he didn't know what that was. "Combined modality therapy is a combination of chemotherapy and radiation therapy, studies have shown that it is the most effective treatment at this stage of the disease."

Brennan fidgeted in her chair and tried to pull her hand away. Booth didn't let go. Instead he pulled her hand up to his mouth and kissed it softly, and then rubbed her hand in both of his.

"How much treatment?" asked Booth.

Brennan pulled her hand away and tucked some of her hair behind her ear. "If you mean in terms of time, 4 months of ABVD chemotherapy followed by 6 weeks of radiation therapy."

Booth nodded, and looked at her reassuringly. "You know you're going to be fine, right Bones? You'll have this treatment and then you'll be fine."

"Yes. The statistics, as unreliable as they are, do point to that outcome," said Brennan. "It doesn't make the journey to that outcome any more pleasant, however." Booth didn't know what to say to that.

"So you said you start in a couple of weeks?" asked Booth.

"Yes," said Brennan. "After some pre-treatment testing."

"Pre-treatment testing?" asked Booth.

"Tests for lung and heart function amongst others," said Brennan, trailing off. She fell silent again, thinking. He stood up and moved around to her side of the table, leaning down and kissing her on the head. He pulled her up out of the seat.

"Come on, let's go, I've got a surprise for you," said Booth, smiling and leading her out of the diner by the hand.

"A surprise?" said Brennan. "I don't like surprises, Booth."

"Well_, you'll like_ this one," said Booth.

Brennan didn't talk much when they got in his SUV; she just let Booth chatter away. He was trying to distract her, get her to smile. She obliged, but she really didn't take in a lot of what he was saying.

"The surprise is in your apartment," said Booth proudly, glancing at her whilst he was driving.

"In my apartment?" asked Brennan. "I thought you went to work today?"

"Yeah, I went to work, but I left early, and I went back to your place," said Booth.

"How did you get in?" said Brennan. "I never actually left you a key…"

"FBI, remember?" said Booth, glancing at her. "I learned all sorts of things at Quantico…"

"You could have just asked for a key, I would have given you one," said Brennan.

"You could have offered," countered Booth.

"I would have _offered_, if you had _asked_," said Brennan. She enjoyed their bickering.

"Oh, will you look at that!" said Booth, changing the subject. "Here we are!"

"I know where my apartment is, Booth," said Brennan indignantly. Booth sighed in defeat.

"Now, Bones, you wait here, I just need to get something ready. Give me two minutes, then come up," said Booth, as they got out of the SUV in front of her building.

"It's my apartment, Booth," called Brennan as he headed into the building. "Do you at least want to use my key this time?"

He turned and grinned at her. "Still don't need it."

Brennan waited at the SUV with her arms crossed for a minute or two before heading up to her apartment. She pressed her own buzzer.

"Booth!"

"Just a second, Bones!"

Brennan wasn't willing to wait any longer; she unlocked the door and went into her apartment. The sight that awaited her brought an immediate smile to her face.

The room was lit by masses of candles that Booth had placed on her cupboards, side-tables, coffee table and even the floor. He was standing with a sheepish grin next to her dining room table, where her best dinner set was laid out for two and the table was littered with even more candles.

"You're going to get wax everywhere," said Brennan, still smiling, walking up to him.

"Then we'll clean it up," said Booth, pulling her close and leaning in to kiss her. He kissed her softly and gently and she kissed back.

Their lips separated and he leant his forehead onto hers.

"Are you going to cook me dinner?" asked Brennan.

"Nope," said Booth.

"You want me to cook you dinner?" asked Brennan indignantly.

"Nope," said Booth. He pointed to her table, still holding her around the waist. A Wong Fu take out menu was laid across one of the plates.

"That's cheating," said Brennan.

"No it's not!" exclaimed Booth. "You like Wong Fu's, I like Wong Fu's… Besides, it's the atmosphere that's important…" He leaned in and kissed her lips again softly.

"The atmosphere is very… nice," said Brennan, as he began kissing her neck. He moved back up and kissed her lips again.

"I need to take a shower, Booth," said Brennan, pulling away.

"What, now?" said Booth.

"Yes," said Brennan. "That'll give you time to organize the take-out."

"Or…" said Booth, pulling her close again. "I could take a shower with you…"

"Um… I'm quite hungry, so if you could get the food?" said Brennan, pulling away from him and heading for her bathroom.

Booth pouted a little. "Okay, Bones. You want anything in particular?"

"Just the usual," she called out as she closed the door. He blew out the candles and grabbed his car keys.

It didn't take long for Booth to collect the take-out, and when he got back to the apartment he saw that the bathroom door was open and her bedroom door was closed.

He placed the pails of food on the counter and knocked on the door.

"Bones?"

"Just give me a minute, Booth," he heard her shaky voice call out from inside.

"Can I come in?" he said.

"Just a minute, Booth," came her voice again. The strain in her voice wasn't lost on him.

"Are you okay?" asked Booth through the door. He didn't hear a response. He hesitated for a second; after all, this was her apartment. But he wanted to make sure she was okay, and so he slowly opened the door.

Brennan was sitting in her satin robe, on the end of the bed, leaning over, her head in her hands. Her shoulders were heaving, and he could hear her breathing out sharply, trying to suppress the tears.

"Bones," he said, concern etched in his voice and on his face. He sat next to her and placed his hand on her back, moving it in circles, trying to comfort her. "Hey… hey… it's okay."

"No, Booth, it's really not okay," said Brennan softly through her tears. She sat up and looked at him, her cheeks wet with tears. "I know that my body will survive, but… for some reason I'm just really scared, Booth."

He pulled her into his chest, and she let out a sob. She buried her face in his shirt as he held her.

"It's normal, Bones," he said softly, kissing her head. "It's normal to be scared of something like this." He stroked her hair as she sobbed, and rested his head on hers.

She let him hold her for little while longer, until she felt she was strong enough to pull away. She slowly pulled away from him and stood up, avoiding his gaze. She went over and stood by window, her back to him, and wiped her cheeks with he back of her hands.

He stood up off of the bed. She folded her arms and turned around, still not looking him in the eye.

"I don't think we should do this right now," said Brennan calmly, looking down.

"Do what?" said Booth. "Dinner?"

"This… us…" said Brennan.

Booth frowned in confusion. "But, just before-"

"-I know Booth," said Brennan. "I changed my mind. I don't think I'm really in the right position for a relationship right now. With everything that's going on."

"I love you, Bones," said Booth, looking really hurt. "Please don't push me away."

"I'm not pushing you away, Booth," said Brennan. "I'm just being realistic. The truth is, I'm going to get quite sick. A new relationship… it won't survive that."

"Yes it will," said Booth, taking a step closer to her.

"No, it won't," said Brennan, taking a step back.

"_Yes_, it _will_," said Booth. "If we want it to. And I do want it to, no matter what, Bones. Besides, this isn't a new relationship, it's us. It's _us_, Bones."

"I don't know what that means, or how it makes a difference," said Brennan, still not looking him in the eye.

"It makes a difference because we love each other. We're not two strangers who hooked up on a date, we're _partners_. And that means we stick by each other, we help each other, we _support_ each other, and we _trust_ each other," said Booth.

"I _do_ trust you, Booth," said Brennan. "But… I don't know how to handle this, and I don't want to hurt you."

"I know you don't," said Booth. "But when you love someone, when they hurt, you hurt, which is why I can't walk away from this, Bones. I _won't_ walk away from you."

"I still don't think you understand, Booth," said Brennan. "I'm going to get sick. Nausea, vomiting… hair loss… I don't want you to see me like that. I can't stand the thought of you seeing me like that."

Booth shook his head. "You will still be the most beautiful woman in the room to me, Bones."

"I'm the only woman in the room," said Brennan.

Booth couldn't help but smile a little at her confusion. "In any room, Bones. You will still be the most beautiful woman in the entire world to me."

"Even without hair?" asked Brennan.

"Are you kidding? I think you will look hot without hair! You would make bald the next big thing," said Booth, trying to make her smile. It worked. He stepped closer to her, and this time she didn't retreat.

He pulled her into a tight hug. "I'm not going anywhere, Bones."

"I know."

* * *

**Author's Note: I'm sorry if Brennan's reactions are a little confusing, but that's kind of the point. She's confused and scared, and wants the closeness of this new level of relationship with Booth, but doesn't want to hurt Booth by being with him when she's sick. **

**Please read & review as always :)**


	16. Embryos

**Author's Note: **

**Ummm.... I know, I'm very, very naughty... I can't believe it's been a month since I last posted on this story... **

**Anywayz, really trying to get back into the swing of it, just a short chapter here. But I have the next part mapped out, so I promise, PROMISE, to post another chapter very soon!**

**BTW, thank you again to all of my fantastic readers and reviewers! :) :) :)**

***************************************************************************************************

The take-out lay forgotten on the kitchen counter, and the candles weren't relit that night. Instead, Booth made love to Brennan, over and over again. He wanted her to feel like the sexiest, most beautiful woman on the planet. He wanted her to see herself the way he saw her. The way he would always see her.

They fell back against each other and Booth wrapped his arms tightly around her. She sighed and bit her lip.

"Bones?" whispered Booth. "You okay?"

"Yeah," said Brennan, sounding distracted.

"You're making a guy feel pretty unsure of himself here," said Booth, kissing the back of her head.

She pulled out of his embrace and rolled over to face him, propping her head up on her hand to look at him thoughtfully.

"Do you want more children?" asked Brennan. Booth was taken aback. He propped his head up to face her.

"Um, yeah, you know, if it happened," said Booth, his brow furrowed. "But you don't want children, and I have Parker, so… it's okay with me that you don't."

"I never wanted children because I was scared that I would end up hurting them in some way, the way my parents hurt me," said Brennan. Booth raised his eyebrows in surprise. That she now understood that; admitted that… it was a big step for her. "But after Andy, and Russ' girls, and watching you with Parker… I think being a parent… I think being a parent would be a wonderful experience."

"It is, Bones," said Booth, taking her free hand. "It's the most rewarding, positive, blessed thing you can do in this life."

"With what I'm going through right now," said Brennan, looking down. "I may not be able to have children later without medical intervention." Booth nodded, understanding.

"What kind of intervention?" asked Booth.

"I can have my ova extracted and frozen," said Brennan. "It needs to be done before I start treatment."

"And that means you could get pregnant later? Through IVF?" asked Booth.

"Yes," said Bones. She took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes. "But…"

"But what?" asked Booth, squeezing her hand.

"But… there is a much higher success rate with thawing and implanting embryos," said Brennan.

"And for embryos, you need…" said Booth, smiling slyly.

"-sperm," finished Brennan.

"Are you asking?" said Booth, his face becoming serious.

"Yes," said Brennan, nodding, biting her bottom lip.

"You know this has to be the fastest relationship ever. We've barely had two whole days together and you want my sperm to make babies," said Booth, smiling.

"Not babies, _embryos_," said Brennan. "And you could say it has to be the slowest relationship ever considering the length of our partnership."

"True," said Booth, smiling. "Very true."

"So…" said Brennan, after a few moments. Booth still didn't say anything; he just looked at her, and she couldn't quite read his expression. "It's okay, Booth. That you don't want to. It's okay." She tried unsuccessfully to not to look disappointed.

He smiled and leant in to kiss her softly. "Yes, Bones," he whispered as their lips parted. "I would be honoured to make embryos with you." He smiled at her and pulled her over to him so she was lying across his chest. "Just tell me when and where and I'll be there."

She pressed her forehead to his. "I love you."

"I love you." He pulled her tighter to his chest.

"Ouch," she hissed, pulling away. Booth sat up.

"What? Did I hurt you?" asked Booth anxiously.

"The biopsy site in my axilla is still quite tender," said Brennan, subconsciously checking that the small dressing was in place.

"I'm sorry," said Booth, leaning back over her. "Do you want me to kiss it better?"

"Definitely," said Brennan, smiling at him. Booth gently obliged, and then lay back down next to her, his face close to her neck. He breathed in the smell of her skin. She smelled of lavender oil.

"Are you going to work tomorrow?" asked Booth softly.

"Yes," said Brennan.

"We could both take a day off, spend it in bed…" said Booth suggestively, now smelling her hair.

"I want to, but I can't," said Brennan. "I have too much paperwork to finish off. If we get another case soon I won't have time, so…"

Booth pursed his lips. He didn't know how to broach the subject of her field clearance. It wasn't the right time. "Uh, yeah, you're right. Work comes first."

"We could spend all weekend in bed…" suggested Brennan

"Oh, I… uh, I have Parker this weekend," said Booth. "But, I mean, did you want us to come over? Parker would love to see you."

"Yeah," said Brennan. "That would be good."

"Good," said Booth, kissing her neck.

"My Dad's coming over Sunday night," said Brennan. Booth looked at her. She didn't elaborate.

"Have you said anything to him?" asked Booth. Brennan shook her head. "Do you want me to be here with you? I have to drop Parker off at Rebecca's on Sunday afternoon, but I can be back in time for dinner."

Brennan didn't say anything; she just nodded. Her eyes glistened again and she turned into him. He held her until they both fell into a deep sleep.


	17. Football

**Author's Note: Oh dear, I've been a little neglectful haven't I? *Braces herself for the hail of rotten tomatoes***

**Okay, very, very neglectful. I really am sorry, but I can only give the most common of excuses - the old writers blocky wock. But hey, with new eps of Bones on the telly, I'm feeling a bit more inspired! Keep 'em coming Fox!**

**

* * *

**"Hey, Doctor B," said a soft voice from the doorway to Brennan's office.

She looked up from her laptop with a start. Hodgins was standing there.

"Hodgins," acknowledged Brennan. She looked back down at her laptop, continuing to type. She didn't want to look at him. He was wearing that face. That "I know you have cancer but I'm going to try to look and act normal even though I do really feel sorry for you" face.

Hodgins walked towards her desk slowly, his hands in the pockets of his lab coat. Brennan had told Angela that she could tell Hodgins, and he had been dismayed when she broke the news. He wanted to say the right thing, do the right thing… but he didn't know what that was.

"Um… I'm, uh, I'm sorry Dr Brennan," said Hodgins. Brennan looked up at him. "I don't really know what to say…"

"Thanks, Hodgins," said Brennan, glancing at him sideways and then quickly looking back at the screen. She really didn't know what to say either.

"Um, if you need anything…" said Hodgins, trailing off.

"Thanks, Hodgins," said Brennan again, more forcefully this time.

"Okay, I'll just be out there then," said Hodgins, heading back towards the door. He paused at the threshold, and glanced back at her, before stepping out of the room.

Brennan looked at the door when she was sure he had left, and ran her hands through her hair, sighing. She got up and closed the door to discourage anyone else from disturbing her. She just wanted to get some work done and not think about "it" for a while.

Booth dropped by a few hours later and offered to take her out to the diner for lunch, but she told him she was in the middle of a big report and would meet him at her apartment later that night.

Saturday came quickly, and Booth picked up Parker and brought him over to Brennan's apartment. They decided to spend the whole day out, going to the zoo and then to the park so the two boys could play a bit of football together.

Brennan was sitting on a picnic rug as she watched Booth throw yet another pass to Parker. Parker caught it easily and Booth cheered. Brennan clapped her hands and smiled at them as Booth chased his son across the park.

"Woo! Go Parker!" yelled Brennan.

Parker grinned at her and ran over, the ball still tightly gripped under his arm.

"Hey, Bones! You wanna play with us?" asked Parker, all excited.

Booth came up behind Parker and knelt down on the rug, taking the ball from his son's grip. He was a little out-of-breath. "Hey Parker, why don't you let Dad rest for awhile huh? The water fountain's just over there – go get a drink but come straight back, ok?"

"Ok, but I'm not that thirsty," said Parker, shrugging his shoulders as he scampered off.

Booth lay back onto the rug and looked up at Brennan. "That kid has so much energy," he said, still trying to get his breath back.

"Must get it from his father," said Brennan, smiling at him. Booth just laughed.

She leaned over him and kissed him softly on the lips.

"Ew!"

Parker had just arrived back from the water fountain and had caught sight of them. They both sat up and looked at him, slightly embarrassed.

Parker looked at his father, a sheepish grin spreading across his face. "Is Bones your girlfriend?"

Booth looked at Brennan with a sly smile before turning back to Parker. "Uh, yep. Is that all right with you little man?"

Parker screwed up his face a little, and then smiled again. "Yeah."

"Come on Dad, let's play again. You wanna play this time, Bones? I'll let you be on _my_ team," said Parker, grabbing the football back from his father's loose grip.

Before Brennan could answer, Booth cut in.

"Bones is a little tired at the moment, Parker. Let's just let her rest, ok?" said Booth.

"Actually, Parker," said Brennan, throwing Booth a rather dirty look. "I would love to play on your team. Your dad just doesn't want us to beat him, because _he's_ tired."

Parker laughed, and gave the ball to Brennan as she stood up. He started jogging away from them, ready for the next play. As soon as he was out of earshot, Brennan turned to Booth.

"Don't treat me with child gloves Booth," said Brennan testily, as she frowned at him. "I'm _fine_."

"It's 'kid gloves', and I'm sorry, I'm just concerned about you," said Booth.

"Well, don't be," said Brennan. "I can take care of myself. I have for a long time. Long before you came along, in fact."

"I know, Bones. I wasn't saying that you couldn't," sighed Booth. "I just… love you…" He trailed off.

She didn't respond, she just turned the ball in her hands and looked at the ground. He knew she was stressing about having to tell her father about her illness.

"Hey," he said, lifting her chin so she would look at him. "I'll be there with you tomorrow, it'll all be okay…" His voice was reassuring and loving, and she nodded at him.

"Hey!" yelled Parker. "You two aren't going to kiss again are you? Let's play!"

Booth changed his tone to lighten the mood, and smiled at her. "You wanna play, then let's play!" He cheekily grabbed the ball whilst her guard was down and darted away as she chased after him.

* * *

**I know, I don't reserve reviews after my conduct (or rather lack of) over the last few months. You have permission to beat me over the head with my keyboard if you can find me!**

**But if you do have any ounce of forgiveness for me, please find it in your heart to review... Pwease.... Pwetty pwease...  
**


	18. Max

Brennan stared into the pot of crimson sauce bubbling on the stovetop. She grabbed the wooden spoon and stirred it slowly. Her stomach was churning. She was startled when hands suddenly pressed in on her hips, and moved forward until they were hugging her around the waist. Booth nuzzled the nape of her neck, and then turned her slowly around to face him until he was kissing her tenderly on the lips. She still had the wooden spoon in one hand, and it was now dripping dark red splotches onto her apartment floor.

Booth leaned over and took the spoon from her, bringing it to his lips. He smacked his lips together dramatically.

"Needs more salt," said Booth, smiling at her. He dropped the spoon back into the saucepan and pulled her back for another kiss. Brennan kissed him for a few moments and then pulled away.

"My father will be here soon, Booth," said Brennan, turning back to face the stovetop. "I need to check the pasta."

Booth quickly grabbed a cloth from under the sink and wiped up the sauce on the floor. He rinsed the cloth out under the tap and walked back over to Brennan, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Hey," said Booth. He tried to turn her around again. She shrugged him off.

"Hey," he said again, this time more forcefully. Brennan turned around to face him, her eyes glistening.

"I'm here, Bones. You won't have to do this alone," said Booth, pulling her into a tight hug.

"I know," whispered Brennan. She breathed in the lingering scent of his aftershave. In his arms, she felt safe. Completely. She didn't want him to let her go. Booth kissed the top of her head and squeezed her tighter.

The buzzer by the apartment door went off.

Booth felt Brennan tense up in his arms, and let her go.

"I'll get it," said Booth, when she didn't move. Brennan nodded and turned back to the stove, not meeting his eyes.

Booth strode towards the door and glanced back at her before opening it. There stood Max, a cheesy smile stretched across his face. He was holding a large bunch of daffodils.

"Booth!" said Max. "My favorite arresting officer, how are you?" He walked past Booth into his daughter's apartment.

"Where's my girl?" said Max, looking around the apartment for Brennan. He couldn't see her; she wasn't in the living room or the kitchen.

"Bones, uh, she's over…" Booth trailed off, as he saw she wasn't in the kitchen. "There… um, she must be in the bedroom."

"What are you doing here anyway?" asked Max, his eyebrows raised. "Got a case? Doesn't involve me I hope."

"Dinner actually," said Booth. "Temperance and I… well, we're… um-"

"-Together?" said Max.

Booth nodded, a little uncomfortable.

"About time!" said Max, smiling. His expression became serious and he stepped closer to Booth.

"What are your intentions for my daughter?" said Max forcefully.

"I, well, I, uh… " mumbled Booth, more than a little taken aback. He frowned, trying to think of what he should say.

Max smiled and slapped Booth playfully on the shoulder. "Just kidding!"

Max leaned in with a knowing expression. "Not like I couldn't see it coming." He laughed. "Is there a vase around here I can put these in?" He motioned towards the flowers.

"Under the sink," said Booth, relaxing a little. "I'll go get her. Can you stir the sauce on the stove? I think it needs salt."

Booth walked over to the bedroom door, glancing back to see Max heading towards the saucepan. He knocked on the door softly. There was no answer. He went inside. Brennan was lying on the bed, her back to the door. Booth closed the door softly behind him and lay down next to her. He slipped his hand over her waist, and pulled her close to him.

"Your father's waiting out there," said Booth softly.

"I know," said Brennan matter-of-factly. She wasn't crying, or burying her head in the pillow. She just stared at the wall, numb.

But Booth could still feel her heart pounding through her body and into his. He waited for her to talk.

"I can't Booth," said Brennan. "I can't tell him."

"Do you want me to?" said Booth.

Brennan nodded silently. He kissed her and grabbed her hand, interlocking his fingers with hers.

"I love you," said Booth, letting go of her hand and rising from the bed. He left the room and closed the door softly.

Brennan lay on the bed for the next few minutes. She couldn't hear what was being said, but she could hear two muffled voices. One was getting louder and distressed. She didn't want to stay there anymore and listen. She got up and stood by the window. She heard the door open behind her.

"Tempe," said Max, his eyes glistening. She turned her head slightly in his direction, but couldn't look him in the eye.

Max walked over to her. "Temperance." She looked at him and saw the tear stains on his cheeks. She realized at that moment that she had never seen her father cry. Ever. He wrapped his arms around her and she let him hold her for a few moments.

"I, uh, have to be somewhere. Excuse me," she said as she pushed past him. Booth was sitting on one of the armchairs, his head in his hands. He stood up as Brennan strode through the kitchen towards her apartment door.

"Bones!" said Booth. "Where are you going?"

"I just need to get some air," said Brennan. She grabbed her coat off the rack next to the door and walked out without looking back at him. Booth stood there, a little stunned.

"Let her go, Booth," said Max softly as he came out of the bedroom. Booth looked at Max and then back at the closed door.

Booth ran his hand down his face as he thought about it. And then he grabbed his coat and bolted after her.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**In terms of the story, please forgive me for Brennan's contradictory emotions and behavior (one moment accepting support, the next pushing people away), I just think that it _is _confusing emotionally. On one hand you need support and love whilst you're going through something like this, but on the other you don't want to hurt your friends and family by making them go through it with you.**

**As usual though, my apologies for the late post. I'm getting there, I promise. Like everyone else, I do hate it when I find a story I like and it's never finished. I _sooo_ get that frustration, so I promise, sincerely promise that I _will _finish this story. If I'm lying, you have permission to track me down and beat me over the head with your keyboard!**

**Good news is I just got mobile broadband, so I can look at the site at lunchtime when I'm at work (like I am right now!!!).**


	19. Fight

**Author's Note: Ummmm.... this has to be one of the latest late posts ever! A very big sorry to everyone who was (and hopefully still is) following my story. I cannot wait until the season 5 premiere so I can get my Bones fix again!**

* * *

Brennan was pulling out just as he caught up with her car. Booth slapped the back window to get her attention but she ignored him. By the time he got into his SUV and started the engine, he had lost sight of her. But he knew where she was going.

Brennan was hastily pulling bones from a limbo box and placing them onto the light table when he walked into the room. She didn't look up.

"What are you doing, Bones?" asked Booth. "Your father… he's waiting back at your apartment."

"I told you both, Booth," said Brennan. "I just need some air."

"This isn't air, this is work," said Booth, agitated. "And maybe it's not the best thing for you to be doing right now."

"The best thing for me?" repeated Brennan, her voice tight. She looked up at him, anger and hurt in her eyes. "And how would you know what's best for me, Booth?"

Booth swallowed hard, but didn't break eye contact. "I know _you_, Bones."

"If you knew me that well," said Brennan. "You would know that I need to work. I need to have something else to focus on." She continued to arrange the bones on the light table.

"I do know that," said Booth. "But I also know that you can get completely immersed in your work, to the point that I'm worried that you're going to lose focus on what's important right now."

"And what's that?" asked Brennan, not really wanting an answer.

"Fighting your cancer…" said Booth.

Brennan clenched her jaw and looked over at him again. "What does that even mean?"

"What?" said Booth.

"Fighting my cancer… what does that even _mean_, Booth?" said Brennan.

"You know… taking care of yourself so you can beat this," said Booth.

"I still don't understand what that _means_!" exclaimed Brennan, the volume of her voice rising. "Cancer is a cell abnormality that I will be treated for. There is nothing to fight – I can't hit it, I can't kick it… you can't arrest it. I will take the medical advice I've been given and I will undergo the treatment, but I don't see how thinking and talking about it will help my chances. They are what they are, Booth… whether I work right now or not. So I choose to work." She sighed heavily and leant back over the table.

Booth paced back and forth in front of the door, running his hand through his hair in frustration. He stopped and turned back to her, and then nodded slowly. "Okay."

Brennan looked at him, surprised. "Okay?"

"Okay. If working helps you cope with this, then keep working," said Booth. He tried to lighten the tone of his voice. "Maybe not tonight though, I mean… the pasta's getting cold and your Dad is sitting in your apartment by himself."

"Yes," said Brennan, relieved that he seemed to understand what she was trying to say. "I have to put these bones away."

"Good," said Booth. "I'm sure he'll still be here tomorrow."

"_She _will still be here tomorrow," corrected Brennan. She started to tenderly place the bones back in the box. "But she may have to wait..."

"Wait?" asked Booth.

"Yes, wait," said Brennan. "I'm sure we'll get a new case soon, and this skeleton appears to be over 150 years old."

Booth bit his lip. He still hadn't found the right time to tell Brennan she wouldn't be able to work with him in the field. There was an awkward silence.

"Booth?"

"Yeah, um, about that…" said Booth carefully. There was another awkward silence.

"What is it, Booth?" asked Brennan, getting a little impatient.

"Well, um… well… there aren't any…" said Booth.

"Aren't any what?" asked Brennan, frowning.

"Um, aren't any… new cases," lied Booth. He didn't feel like getting into an argument with her. "There aren't any recent homicides in this district… at least none that are in FBI jurisdiction right now." He bit his lip again, hoping that she wouldn't call him on it. He didn't mention that he had just delegated the three cases that appeared on his desk a few days before to other agents. Not that he couldn't get a case back if he ordered it.

"Oh… okay," said Brennan. "What about a cold case?"

"Um…" hesitated Booth. "A cold case?"

"Yes, a cold case. Preferably one where I could still examine the bones," said Brennan.

"Uh… okay," said Booth. "A cold case… I'm sure there must be something… I'll look into it."

"Good," said Brennan, as she put the lid back on the box.

"Good," said Booth, his mind racing. "I'll meet you back at your apartment."


	20. Cold

**Author's Note: Thank you so much to everyone who read and reviewed my last post. I'm so glad people are still reading this story. I am more determined than ever to finish it. Thanks guys!  
**

* * *

Booth had tried to delay finding a cold case for a couple of days, but Brennan was asking about it every time she saw him. She even pestered him as he went into the fertility clinic to make his "deposit".

Unable to put it off any longer, Booth sat at his desk and poured through cold case files on the FBI database, looking for something to give Brennan that would involve virtually no field time on her part. It took him over an hour before he found something. An unidentified woman found stabbed and disfigured in a derelict warehouse in 1994 – a warehouse that had since been torn down and replaced by a shopping mall. No crime scene to visit, no witnesses found to reinterview. And best of all the bones were already being held in the Jeffersonian. Just bones for his Bones. He went down to the case archives to pull the evidence box so he could take it over to Brennan.

"Here," said Booth, plopping the evidence box on Brennan's desk, startling her. "A cold case. Freezing in fact." He handed her the case file, which she quickly skimmed.

"The remains are here at the Jeffersonian," stated Brennan.

Booth nodded. "Yep."

"And there are no witnesses? And not even close to an ID?" asked Brennan.

Booth shook his head. "Nope."

Brennan stared solemnly at the crime scene photos. "Someone knew this woman. Someone must have missed this woman." She couldn't help but think of her mother.

"From these photos, there appears to be significant damage to the skeletal structure of the face. But from what I can see, I don't believe that this sketch is a good representation of what she actually would have looked like. Once I reconstruct the skull, Angela should be able to composite a more accurate image of the face," said Brennan, still not looking up from the file.

"Great," said Booth, moving around to the other side of the desk. "What do you say I take you out for lunch later? I'm thinking… that Italian restaurant you like."

"The diner will be fine," said Brennan. "I don't think I could eat much anyway."

"Meet you there at 1 then," said Booth. He leant over and kissed her gently, before heading for the door.

Brennan pierced several pieces of lettuce with the fork and then pushed it around the plate.

"Dr Rawlings called. The first round of chemotherapy has been scheduled for next week," she said, not looking up from her food.

"Oh, um okay," said Booth, caught a little off guard. "I'll be right there with you."

"No, you won't," said Brennan, looking up at him. "I would rather go by myself."

Booth loosened his tie, and sighed. "Why?"

"It's just something I have to do," said Brennan. Her tone told him not to argue. He ignored it.

"I'm coming," said Booth, trying to grab her hand across the table. She pulled it away.

"No, you aren't," said Brennan forcefully.

"_Yes_, I am," said Booth, just as forcefully, his voice low and firm.

Brennan rolled her eyes and sat back in her chair, her arms folded across her chest.

"This is my treatment Booth, my decision," she said. "I don't want you there."

Booth rested his elbows on the table and rubbed his temples.

"Fine," he said. "Just give me a good reason why I can't be there. Come on, why?"

"I don't know, I just… it's just something I have to do," said Brennan. "_Alone_." She looked back down at her salad and took a mouthful, chewing slowly.

Booth clenched his jaw and looked out of the window, trying to calm the surge of frustration that flooded his tense muscles. He breathed deeply and thought for a few moments before turning to look at her.

"Is it because you're scared?" asked Booth.

"Scared?"

"Scared of what the chemo's going to be like? How sick it's going to make you?" asked Booth. Brennan didn't look up at him, but he saw her clench her jaw.

"Nope."

"Because, I'm scared," admitted Booth. "I don't want you to get sick… the thought of you being in any pain..."

"There are a lot of medications now that will help with the side effects," said Brennan into her plate.

Booth saw through that. He saw how scared she was even though she was doing her best to hide it.

"Bones," he said, trying to get her to look at him. "You don't have to protect me, you know that right?"

"I'm not protecting you, Booth," said Brennan, looking at him. "I'm just… I just don't want it to be emotional. I just want it to be… just what it is. Treatment, nothing more. If you're there…"

"What? You will feel more vulnerable?" asked Booth. "I still don't understand. I would be there to _support_ you. I know you would do the same if the situation was reversed."

"But the situation isn't reversed, Booth," said Brennan, getting up from the table. "And you don't have to understand – this is my decision. And I'm not changing my mind about this."

Booth got up and grabbed her arm. "You're pushing me away again," said Booth.

"No, I'm _not_," said Brennan, pulling her arm from his grasp. "I have to get back to the lab." With that, she walked straight out of the diner without looking back.

Booth shook his head and clenched the bridge of his nose in his thumb and index finger, sighing deeply. He was going to be there, whether she liked it or not.

* * *

**Please R & R....**


	21. Subterfuge

**Author's Note: Thanks so much to everyone for the loving reviews! They are like fuel for my muse. I know the plot is going slowly but I really am trying to show more of the push / pull between Booth and Bones. There are certain things that need to happen and I am trying to lay out the ground work in these and previous scenes.  
**

**Until next time... enjoy!**

* * *

"Bones?" called Booth. "Bones, are you here?"

He put his keys on the counter and walked over to her fridge. She still wasn't home from the lab. He grabbed a beer and opened it, taking a long drink. He flipped open his cell phone, dialled her number and plopped down on the couch.

"Bones?" he asked when she answered. "I'm at your apartment. Where are you?"

"_Angela has a composite on the Jane Doe. You need to come see this."_

"Come on," said Booth. "It's late, I'm tired. Can't it wait until the morning?"

"_Booth, this woman has a family somewhere. They need to know what happened to her."_

Booth sighed. She wasn't going to give in. "Fine. Be there soon!" He slammed the phone shut and took another gulp of his beer before jumping off the couch.

*

"So, what've you got?" said Booth as he walked into Angela's office. Brennan and Angela were standing next to the reconstructed skull.

"Wow, I didn't think you'd be able to put that back together," commented Booth.

"Why?" said Brennan, frowning. "We had all of the bone fragments. You've seen me do more with less."

"No need to get defensive, Bones," said Booth. "Just paying you a compliment."

"That wasn't a compliment," said Brennan, turning back to Angela.

"Whoa!" said Angela, looking between them both. "Do I sense a bit of tension here?"

"No, we're fine," said Brennan, looking at Booth. "Aren't we Booth?"

"Yep, fine…" said Booth, rubbing his temple. "It's late, can we just get to the big reveal please?"

"Geez, grouchy much?" said Angela. She pulled up a holograph of the skull.

"The sketch from the old case file was way off. The reconstructed skull clearly shows a more distinctive cheekbone and nose structure. From these new markers, I was able to determine that she looks more like this…" Angela added the layers of tissue and skin to the holograph until it showed a pretty young woman with dark brown hair and brown eyes.

"I'll run the image through the Missing Persons database and see if we get any matches," said Angela.

"Run it against the criminal database as well," said Booth. "The area where she was found was well known for prostitution."

"Will do," agreed Angela.

"Bones," said Booth. "Ready to go home now?"

"I, uh, still have some reports to finish," said Brennan. "Perhaps you can go back to your own apartment tonight."

Booth sighed. "Is this about earlier, at the restaurant?"

"No," said Brennan. "I do have reports to finish."

"You're not avoiding me?" said Booth.

"No, I'm not," she said, glancing at Angela, who was starting to look uncomfortable. "I'm going to my office now. Goodnight."

"Night, Bren," Angela called after Brennan as she walked out of the room.

Booth sighed and leaned over onto the holograph table, his head in his hands.

"That bad, huh?" said Angela.

Booth nodded. He looked up at her. "How do I get her to let me in?"

"Don't give her a choice," said Angela.

"She won't let me go with her when she has her treatment," said Booth. "I need to be there, be with her."

"Oh," said Angela, biting her lip. "That might be partially my fault."

Booth looked at her questioningly. "What do you mean?"

"Well, not the you not coming part," said Angela. "I asked her if she wanted me to go with her and she said yes. I didn't know she didn't want you to come."

"Can you tell her you won't go?" said Booth.

"No!" said Angela. "What would I say? 'Sorry I changed my mind, you'll have to go on your own?'"

"No, you say 'I can't come, you should take Booth'" he said.

"I'm not going to do that," said Angela. "You need to talk to her yourself."

"I've already tried," said Booth. "She made it clear she's not going to change her mind."

"So what are you going to do?" asked Angela.

Booth thought about it for a few moments. "You're right. I'm not going to give her a choice," said Booth. "Can you please tell me when and where her treatment is so I don't miss it?"

"She's going to kill me," said Angela. "You know that right?"

Booth nodded. "I would definitely owe you one."

Angela sighed. "Fine, I promise. Once she gives me the details, I'll tell you."

"Thanks Angela," said Booth sincerely. He went to leave.

"Oh, and Booth?" said Angela.

"Yeah?"

"Brennan's already finished those reports."

"I know."

* * *

**Please review if you can! Always appreciated :)**


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